Remember last year when the news feed of every parent in the world was exploding with headlines like, “The Real Message from Frozen” and “Mind-Blowing Disney Theory”? Well, I never could have found the real message from Frozen while simultaneously discovering the most mind-blowing Disney theory if it weren’t for these bored parents showing me that as a daddyblogger, such is my obligation.1 As Isaac Newton said, “If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”

Figure 1

Figure 1

As shown in Figure 1 Frozen takes place after Rapunzel cuts her hair and Cinderella marries a prince, but before Princess Tiana turns into a frog. A conservative estimate leaves about 100 years from the 1820s to the 1920s. However, all of these characters couldn’t be in their youth at the same time.2 So what force could bend time and space and destiny to bring all these seemingly unconnected characters together? The most obvious explanation is also the only one possible: The Dharma Initiative.

Think about it. In the movie, Arendelle is only accessible via the harbor, by boat. Even when they all think they are going to freeze to death, not even the Duke of Weselton suggests, “Maybe we could just ride south to the next port.” That’s because Arrendelle is on an island. More specifically, it is on the island. See Figure 2. Click to enlarge.

Figure 2

Figure 2

It all fits.3 Disney owns ABC, and thus the rights to Lost. I can’t wait until JJ Abrams directs the reboot of Frozen with a Black stormtrooper.

Written by Brian

Reader, writer, father, husband.

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